Christianity. The biggest topic of humanity. I have been stressed about this topic for my entire life. Since I was born, I was brought to church and even got baptized when I was just a baby. Ever since my baptism, I was continually brought to church every sunday and God was a very big part of my life. However, there have been many times where I felt that Christianity was not a priority in my life.
When I first moved to Singapore, although I had moved countries, I had a very hard time adjusting to the new environment. During that time, it was the first time where I started to doubt the existence of God. Also, when I started to grow and my mind started to develop into one of a teenager, this doubt of God and my conscience started to expand. For the first time in my life, I even started to stop attending church. I also stopped praying as much as I used to. This distance from God started to grow worse as the Covid-19 situation started. The Covid-19 situation gave me an excuse to not attend church at all, to not pray at all, and practically led me to cuttin
g my relationship with God entirely. This went on for a very long time until very recently.
During my last month in Singapore, the impending moving to another country had affected my mental state very much. I was sad and afraid about the relationships I was leaving behind and how it was going to affect me. During that time of uncertainty and hardship, I started to pray again for the first time in around two years. I was surprised that the times I was praying were the times I felt the most comfort and certainty. Then, when I finally came back to Korea, although I was praying to God, my mental state was worsening everyday. One day, I finally decided to return to church once I realized it was going to be unbearable by myself. After going to church, I felt very comfortable and actually felt optimistic while praying in church and started to attend church ever since.
I feel like the presence of God in my life has given me the strength to be strong during my times of hardship. I always feel thankful to God as even though I turned my back on God, he still gave me strength and the power to go on with my life.